I was dancing on a stage with a horse and a giant badger in front of hundreds of people. I looked down to find I am dressed as a whoopee cushion but when I tried to talk to Phil (my other half) he had turned into Noddy Holder, complete with mad top hat and glitter covered platform boots.

Lord, if only it had been a dream. In fact it was a part of my strange reality.

Going to see Harry Hill (The Harry Hill Show, Harry Hill's TV Burp) at Milton Keynes Theatre ought to have been a regular night out, except the thing from the theatre said
"Fancy Dress".

What's a girl to do?

Needless to say we were the only ones in fancy dress and Harry was confused because we were meant to dress like him, not Slade front man, Noddy Holder and a Whoopee Cushion.

Our seats were in the second row and so naturally we got a bit of heckling from Mr Harry during his brilliant show and at the end we were amongst members of the audience invited up to join in the finale.

This is how my waking nightmare of dancing, dressed as a Whoopee Cushion, in front of hundreds of people with a giant badger, a horse, Harry Hill and Noddy Holder came about.

These strange events have only been happening since I gave birth to a giant whoopee cushion.